theagingofanorexia

Movie of Fat and Thin Reviewed

A colleague of mine saw the movie Disfigured which is about the relationship between a woman struggling with anorexia, Darcy (Staci Lawrence) and a fat woman, Lydia (Deidra Edwards). Darcy tries to attend a fat acceptance meeting because she sees herself as being too fat and wants to accept it. She is kicked out of the meeting. Lydia speaks up for her, although she doesn't know Darcy, but is voted down.

As they become friends Lydia asks Darcy to teach her how to be anorexic. Darcy gives in and starts to teach but it doesn't work because Lydia can only not eat for a short while. In the meanwhile, Darcy becomes more entrenched in controlled not eating.

The movie conclusion shows both women growing from the relationship. Darcy starts up again with her former psychotherapist and Lydia starts a Size Acceptance Group rather than a Fat Acceptance Group. The lesson the women were trying to learn is to find something you like about yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

The one area that I found unacceptable was Lydia asking to be taught to be an anorexic. Anorexia, an eating disorder, is not something you can learn. It is a mental illness.

If you have seen the movie, it is offered by Netflix, we're very interested in your review comments.

To your successful lifestyle.

Ruthan Brodsky

Understanding Themselves Chapter 21

What I've learned in my research about eating disorders is that a major part of the treatment is helping patients to better understand themselves and their lives and the struggles that have shaped them into who they are today. It is important not only discovering what were the life events that shaped the patient's eating disorder but also for recognizing and appreciating their future personal growth.

The process is important because it allows the patient to gain the pride and sense of acceptance that comes from understanding that they have lived a worth while life. When a patient finds meaning in her personal history it usually provides a direction for understanding the illness and ways to accept the changes that take place as she ages.

This is the last entrée I have for Sydne's journal. It is very positive but it was written months ago.

"May compassion for yourself always be the guiding force as you continue on your path of health, happiness, and fulfillment. You so deserve it."

You know, she is right! I do deserve it and so do so many others out there. I took some time one day and asked a woman I saw daily on the same street corner begging for money if she as hungry and she was, so I took her across the street to a Subway and got her something to eat and drink.

As we were sitting there I asked her if she would tell me how she had gotten to the point she is at today. She had looked at me as if I were asking a child what they wanted from a toy store.

She told me no one has ever asked her that before. People just assumed she was a drunk or druggy when, in fact, she never drank or did drugs in her life. I had only spent 30-45 minutes with her that day, but to her that was winning the lottery in so many ways. Someone care about her that day, someone asked about her and didn't show judgment or criticize her for the decisions she made. During my recovery I was given that and I want to continue to show that towards those who so deserve it.

Sydne is having her ups and downs this year and hanging in, working to keep her life together. Her life is much like ours… it is a struggle.

To your good health.

Ruthan Brodsky

Diet and Addiction continued Chapter 20

Most of us don't like to diet. Many of us could even use some extra help when it comes to losing weight. When a person with anorexia diets, she actually feels better, more alert and energetic. They may be starving, they feel the hunger pangs, but they've learned to ignore them. Dieting and not eating become the ultimate goal.

Researchers report that this kind of starvation acts as an addiction. The brain's natural reward circuitry responds to drugs, boosting the levels of dopamine which produces the high that addicts crave. Starving yourself may have the same affect.

Sydne's story

Anorexia Nervosa: An Addiction to Starvation Chapter 19

A lengthy article appeared in the magazine Scientific American Mind this summer. It basically asks whether anorexia can be blamed on the pressures of our society or whether it is a profound psychiatric disorder.

The article is excellent, well organized and easy to read. The author, Trisha Gura, wrote the book Lying in Weight: The Hidden epidemic of Eating disorders in Adult Women (Harper Collins, 2007).

Gura argues that cultural reasons don't easily explain why someone who is emaciated perceives themselves as fat. It also doesn't make sense that anorexics say they feel more energetic and alert when starving , that starvation seems to boost their metabolic rate which contrasts to people who are fasting and their metabolism slows.

Researchers are looking for biological answers and are probing the brains of anorexics. They now see it as a multifaceted mental illness whose effects extend far beyond appetite. The illness is accompanied by disturbances in the brain's reward circuitry and shares characteristics with drug addiction, the drug being deprivation of food.

According to the National Institute of Mental health about two thirds of anorexics do not fully recover even after years of treatment which today consists of psychotherapy. That is one of the reasons anorexia has the highest mortality rate for any mental illness in young females.

"People have long been blaming families and media," says psychiatrist Walter Kaye of the University of California, San Diego. "But eating disorders are biological illnesses, and better treatments will come from more biologically-based approaches."

I have long since left the Facility and have been spending time at Outreach. I attend Outreach twice a week for three hours but that will change soon because my progress is going well. Even though my insurance would like me to be finished, I also feel my time is coming to an end and a new chapter will begin in my journey to recovery.

I have met some amazing people in my journey. From the women at the Facility and the staff and also at Outreach. I have been very fortunate to have worked with a woman who started my journey to recovery and taught me to love me for who I am. That I am not the trash I thought I was and I deserve to be happy and to be loved. To the women I will most likely end my chapter at Outreach with who taught me it is okay to still have struggles and to give myself more credit than I do. That it is important to see how far I've come and not to look at how far I have left to go.

Facing and overcoming an eating disorder is a means for gaining true self love. When you know how to love yourself, your life is forever changed. When you quiet your mind, you can more easily hear the voice in your heart.                   Sydne

To your health success,

Ruthan Brodsky

Hope and Recovery: Sydne's Journey Chapter 18

Anorexia is a very complicated disorder and different people develop an eating disorder for different reasons. Although many of us view anorexic behaviors as self-destructive, most individuals with the eating disorder don't believe they are hurting themselves.

The most common reason therapists hear about why someone starts starving themselves is that at some point they feel out of control. It could be a feeling inside them or it could be about something that was happening to them.

Family problems are often a major reason. The families of anorexic patients may have very controlling parents or there are few if any boundaries between the parents and the child. Some anorexics feel that their control over their eating is the first thing they've been able to do by themselves. Or they may be crying out in desperation for attention because of the disconnection between themselves and their family.

A vision is a road man to keep us on the road to take us to those things that we desire in the most heartfelt, deepest manner.

I have made a decision to take ownership each day for my choices and be accountable for them. To fulfill our vision, we must commit to it; a promise to try hard each day to pursue your vision.

A wise woman once said healing from an eating disorder is about embracing yourself instead of pushing yourself away. It is about accepting with gentleness all the difficulties you have suffered and it is learning from others.

Recovery is about experiencing your feelings, as raw and scary as they sometimes feel. When you come to a place where you choose to know and love yourself through these struggles, you are living the definition of hope.

So I guess I must be living the definition of hope. I have had some struggles since deciding to let go of my eating disorder and the road to recovery has not been easy! But it is a road that I would not have changed for anything.

To all our visions and recoveries,

Ruthan Brodsky

Vision for the Future Chapter 17

 

When the Beijing Olympics began in August of 2008, Allie Outram watched them on TV from beginning to end. A cross-country and track athlete, Outram once had dreams of competing for her country. Now she watches her contemporaries compete for the

U.K.

 

In her book published in July, Running On Empty, she revealed how an eating disorder and intense training regimens left her close to death. She began running when she was 14 and to perform well she started to control what she ate leaving out high caloric foods and then any carbohydrates or fats. She also started training intensively twice a day. At her lowest point she weighed 63 pounds.

 

Outram spent two years as an inpatient in a hospital eating disorders unit. She continued to starve herself and in her attempt to eat to recover, her anorexia developed into bulimia. After a binge she would vomit and starve herself again.

 

Outram found that friends and family thought she was too thin and exercised too much but fellow athletes accepted and encouraged her behavior. One of the reasons she wrote the book is to raise people's awareness of the long term damage athletes suffer to win a medal. Now age 32, Outram is recovered and hopes her book will be an inspiration to others.

 

Sydne writes:

 

As my inner child and I become one again, we must journey together to get close to whom we really are. It is important for us to understand the notion of our hearts. Our heart or our sense of heartfelt, spiritual yearning is much more profound and important in defying who we really are and what we really want, then the wishes of our hearts.

 

Our hearts are the most patented source of motivation in our lives. The heart is more of a sense, a knowing, an intuition and an impression. The heart is the part of us that recognizes spiritual expression that comes from God. When we speak from the heart we are referring to spirit, soul. The heart is the part of us that recognizes spiritual expression that comes from God.

 

I hear women talk about what they desire in recovery and what their visions look like when they feel they are recovered. I think desires and visions are about getting what we want most in our lives.

 

Vision is reality, even though not yet tangible, we can see, feel, sense and recognize a vision spiritually. Vision is something that we can have. We begin with the possibilities. Possibilities are the building blocks for faith and hope. Our hope can increase and become the vehicle towards making these things a reality.

 

Your thoughts are appreciated. Scroll down to Comments and type them in the blank window.

 

To your good health and peaceful life,

 

Ruthan Brodsky

 

For more information on Ruthan, opt in at her business blog for men and women in mid-life at From Retirement to Career Change.

Sydne Confronts Her Inner Child Chapter 16

I've been told that part of the challenge in treating women is getting them to understand the normal process of aging. Women need to understand that the waistline they enjoyed as younger women is an unrealistic goal in middle age. Some female weight gain and for sure body reshaping is a result of normal hormonal and metabolic shifts, the natural result of aging and menopause.

That's not to say women in mid life now have an excuse to gain weight. They don't and neither do men. However, no matter how much they diet and exercise their body isn't going to look like it did in their twenties – unless they go overboard and spend hours on the treadmill. Regular exercise does play a very important and positive role for women as they age but excessive exercise is asking for trouble.

Finding the source of the eating disorder is the key in the treatment process. Unresolved adolescent or childhood traumas and conflicts are often the challenge that both patient and therapist face. Dealing with their feelings about aging and understanding that the body does slow down becomes part of the treatment.

I have decided to take an inventory of my progress. An inventory of the day I decided I would recover from an eating disorder.

I entered the Facility in February, 2007. The Facility was a place that was about how to treat women who suffer from eating disorders from the inside out. It wasn't about just feeding my once starved body but about treating my broken and damaged heart and repairing the inner turmoil that was going on inside that had poisoned my mind and ate my soul.

Once I decided to dig in and really do some intense work on healing the traumatic events that had happened to me as a child, it was then I could start to see myself as a woman. You see I just went along with the motions of portraying I was a perfectly happy child that grew up to be a perfectly happy woman. Wow! I should have won the Academy Award for the best lying actress in her own life story. I even had myself convinced I was perfectly happy an adult.

I never realized until I started the healing process how important my inner child was to me. As I started to confront the trauma from the past I thought my inner child was so far gone that she would not be reachable. Boy was I wrong and I'm glad I was wrong!

By allowing my inner child to resurface and be part of my journey to recover, and not just recover from having an eating disorder, but allowing oneself to heal my body, my mind and my soul. To allow the three of them to be one.

This was a huge step for Sydne and one that she needed for healing to take place. More on Sydne's inner child in our next post. Until then, best wishes for a healthy and peaceful new year.

Ruthan Brodsky

Your comments are most welcomed on this blog.  Scroll down to Comments and type your questions or your story in the blank window

Learning To Let Go Chapter 15

The research says that eating disorders at mid life are often accompanied by addiction to stimulants or even cocaine to lose weight. Herbal supplements, over-the-counter medications and prescribed meds are also used frequently to lose weight. Some individuals, particularly women, exercise to excess, spending hours in the gym or racing from one activity to the next.

Similar to an adolescent or young adult who has problems with their body image, individuals in mid life may be unhappy with their appearance. However, because time and money are more available to an adult, affluent individuals often decide on plastic surgery to erase any signs of aging.

There are also people who find themselves struggling with a psychological concern in mid life. Rather than deal with the concern, they become more centered on an eating disorder so that the adult avoids facing conflicts, losses, normal life transition concerns such as having no children at home or the need to care for aging parents.

Middle age is the time when we evaluate our past and are expected to shift the focus from ourselves to helping others. This is the time when many adults tend to find their spirituality and emphasize fundamental values as opposed to appearance. When an emotional problem occurs, such as an eating disorder, it prevents someone from moving in this direction.

Sydne's Story

The Facility was a place I knew I had to go to. It was a place that would remove me completely from my environment and put me in a place where I would be safe. The people around me would truly understand me and would treat me from the inside out.

There was nothing wrong with the outside of me other than I was way too thin. I don't think I ever said it but when I arrived at the Facility I weighed only 92 pounds. My insides were a mess. Not must physically but emotionally.

It probably took me a few weeks to completely trust the staff, but once I did I was able to start my journey to recovery. The first think I had to learn was to let go and allow people to help me. Even if it meant them holding me while I feel a part about missing my daughter or screaming at the top of my lungs and when I was done I was asked if I felt better.

I had worked with some amazing people at the Facility. From Nurse who told me one I start to feed my body again I would be able to feel and to allow myself to feel each and every emotion because it had been so long since I had felt anything. To the Aids who were at my beck and call when I needed them. And to the one person who was actually able to be the first person to get to the core of me – Dr. Loretta Jones.

For the first time in my life I was able to expose all the ugly, horrible things that I had kept in for 32 years. Loretta taught me over the course of time that I was not trash, that I was a beautiful woman who needed to find that lost little girl that I had did so deep down to protect her from being completely destroyed.

Your thoughts and comments are welcomed. Scroll down to comments and ask your question or share your comment.

Happy Chanukah beginning this evening.

Merry Christmas this Thursday.

I'll be here again before New Years.

Ruthan Brodsky

Anorexia - Other People Don't Get It Chapter 14

Mid-life is usually taken as a time when people have achieved an identity and a personal sense of empowerment. Yet this is the same time when body image becomes so much of a primary focus. It doesn't make sense that body dissatisfaction is higher in mid life than it is when you're younger. Not only that, the number of people, especially women, who are dissatisfied with body image has increased in the last 25 years by 15 percent.

Apparently diets leave women unsatisfied with the results. For example, in 2001 over 93% of liposuction patients were women between the ages of 17 and 74 years old, but 98% were within 50 pounds of their ideal weight. Even thought the procedures for liposuction have improved and there are far less complications for bleeding, liposuction hasn't addressed the increasingly negative body image of millions of women who believe that weight reduction or body fat removal will make them happier and healthier human beings. It appears that liposuction helps address part of the problem, to come closer to the female slender ideal, but it still fails to resolve the negative body image that leads to self-defeating dieting. Given this assumption, clinicians question whether women who seek plastic surgery at mid life should be screened for an eating disorder.

I get asked a lot about my recovery from those who know. The main question is: Are you recovered now? I always respond with a slight smirk because I know they mean wee, but at the same time I don't think they clearly understand what being recovered from an eating disorder really means.

Most people, and when I say most people, I mean my co-workers, my husband's family, and our friends, just think it is about me wanting to be thin so I will look good in a bathing suit for the summer or at a party. They don't understand, and not that I expected them to because most of them are always complaining about their weight as they are working on their third helping at dinner.

I only have a very select few that truly understand what my eating disorder was or I think at this point in time, I should say what it is about. The sad thing is out of those select few, I can count them on one hand, and four of them are therapists that I've been working with.

I actually have someone who can completely understand what it is all about but I'm too afraid to let that person in completely. This person is someone that I have known for a very long time and have a strong connection with but my heart is afraid, afraid to let that shield down.

I have always been good about having a wall around me. The closer someone tried to get, the higher the wall got. I still have a wall today but it isn't as high as it once was. Some times I feel the wall is still there, helping protect me until I get a real clear understanding of who I am and not just knowing who I am but being comfortable with whom I am. Over the last year and a half I have learned to accept a lot of things about myself that I wasn't sure about. I also learned to not accept the really horrible things I once thought I was.

I will say that the horrible things were much easier to believe than the good things. The Facility was the place where I discovered that I was not a horrible person. I was not fat, ugly, and stupid and most of all I was not TRASH.

 

I am open to sharing your story with our readers. If you think you'd like me to write about your experiences with eating disorders, email me and describein general what your story is about:

ruthanb@gmail.com

Wishing you the most of this holiday season.

Ruthan Brodsky

Thinking About Her Future Chapter 13

How we see ourselves, our body images, is a process that develops over the years. Our body image is influenced by our own life experiences, media, and feedback from others. It is derived from both our conscious and subconscious thinking. Figuring out what and separating the parts of her life that contributed much to her negative thinking was part of Sydne's therapy. It allowed her to better understand herself, her life, and the struggles that shaped her into who she is today.

In 1997 the magazine, Psychology Today, surveyed a group of women. Eighty-nine percent said they wanted to lose weight. What is mind boggling is that 15% of these women said it would be worth sacrificing more than five years of their lives to achieve their desired weight. Another 24% of these women would sacrifice three years of their lives to achieve their goal.

There is no doubt that preoccupation with body image affects a woman's sense of herself. No wonder so many are preoccupied and dissatisfied with their appearance and body size. It is almost a pathological "I'll do anything" to lose weight.

This attitude is closely associated with teen age females but there is a larger group of older women who are also dissatisfied with their body weight. For many, the attitude of body dissatisfaction at a young age stays with them and prevents a normal transition to middle life.

One big major thing I was also able to do for me was I was able to say and believe that I know I may not spend the rest of my life with the woman I love so deeply. But that's okay. I only have half of a relationship with her because of the world she lives in but that doesn't mean I can't find someone else one day and be able to love them openly and have them love me just the same.

I know this woman loves me and I know her world is complicated, but mine doesn't have to be any more. I won't settle for anything less than what my heart desires. If that means I need to let her go or set her free, then I shall. Like they say if it is meant to be she will come back to me.

In the mean time, I will do what makes me happy, what makes me feel complete, and do what makes my hear feel good.

You are probably thinking can it really be that easy, that simple? YES IT CAN!

You can't go wrong when you follow what you truly want from your life. It's your life and this is mine and I will do what is right for me. What is right for me is to be kind, to be helpful, to be understanding and just simply listen to what is around me.

I have finally listened to what was around me and that was to take off my mask and discover who I was underneath it. By removing my wedding ring I removed the mask of deception. Deception that I was a perfectly happy wife who married the man who fathered her child out of a one night stand because she and the people around her and the family thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe it was to most, but the mask made everyone, including myself believe, that I was the happy wife.

How do I feel now that I have removed the mask? I feel free as stupid as that my sound. I really feel free of all the lies, deceptions and the task of juggling two lives everyday.

Yes, you can say I was living a double life. But now I can live the life I was meant to live all along! Will it be easy? No. But I feel I have the strength and courage to be who I am.

There are a several more chapters in Sydne's journal. I spoke with her about a month ago and she indicated she may want to continue telling her story especially if it helps other women work through their eating disorder problems.

May we all continue to invest in our personal growth.

Ruthan Brodsky

http://www.upsideofaging.com

Be sure to opt in for future free reports on health issues.